How do people react upon resentment?

How do people react upon resentment?

Multiple times I’m being advised on taking care of my “personal brand” and tackle only generic generally accepted topic, I see everyone around me do it, but as I get to explore myself, I see I don’t need to lie about my personal brand on the internet(s), I’m searching for what’s true, for what’s real and I believe that doing great things in the world can only come when we are being real and true, not worried about our brand or plastic public image.

Who of you never felt the bitterness of being deserted by the people you fought and sacrificed for the most?

Who of you never experienced the salty sweat of a sword while being repetitively stabbed in your back, in the darkness, where no one can see?

Chances are you never did, unless you are in the habit of challenging your surrounding with new ideas and taking the lead in bringing change and disrupting the status quo, you’ll never experience that, and these words and clips below will remain to you as experiences of the less fortunateز

It is only when it’s just you out there challenging the word, planting more beautiful gardens, fighting for fairness, alone, that’s when you are vulnerable to all sort of betrayals and wounds that would naturally result in resentment, the ugly feeling of being let down by the people you trusted the most, you cared for the most, you sacrificed for the most, quietly and silentlyز

As I’m interested in sociology I tried to track down a few cases of how people reacted to that, I’m in love with stories and moving pictures so I’ll bring you a few known examples from movies most of us have watched.

1. Brave heart – Vengeance

William Wallace, the warrior with a broken heart storms the club of politica with his countrymen gathering asking them for only one thing, unity, he doesn’t care about governing or owning rather about freedom and all the beautiful principles worth fighting for and he gets it and they shake hands on it, though, when it’s time to interfere in the battlefield, the countrymen sell their souls to the English kind and leave him and the men followed naked in the battle field.

Minute 1:00 as countrymen get the sign to attack and desert their warriors

With the heart of a warrior William Wallace tracks down the English king to be stopped by a knight, that he discovers is the same countryman who has shaken hands with before the battle, now look at his eyes, it’s a window to a broken heart, sinking in a stream of pain and resentment

But what is a socially acceptable reaction to that? We all watched Braveheart and maybe it was our favorite part when he appears in the nightmares of his countrymen to take away their filthy traitor souls, by then, all of what considered vengeance  was very acceptable to us.

2. The Rock – Twisting Arms

We can't hold out much longer, sir!

General Hummel, you've gotta
get us outta here now!

I won't let you down.
I won't let you down, son.

Goddamn it, sir! How long do we have
to wait? I've lost *many* men already!

Sir, they're lightin' us up
like a firestorm!

This is General Hummel.
You gotta get my men outta there!

We don't have clearance
to go behind enemy lines, sir.

They're not coming for us,
are they, sir?

We all watched the crazy general, General Hummel, stealing destructive weapons to attack the same land he swore to defend and made heroic sacrifices fighting for, now, he is not being listened to, after his men was deserted  in battle, he is being neglected by the congressmen, pentagon and everyone. He visits his wife’s grave for some last words asking her: “whatever happens, please, don’t think less of me”.

Now the angry general has chosen to Twist arms, he requests a $100 Million fund or he will launch the gas against his own people, well, he never actually considered launching the gas or anything but it was a worthy game to twist their arm.

3. The Recruit – Betrayal

In another mode, Walter chooses to betray for being neglected after 27 years, neck deep in shit as he describes it. He allows this sense of resentment to turn him into a traitor against the same institution he helped develop

4. Warrior: confrontation and forgiveness

Thought, there is a completely different mode, in the combination of this fabulous scene from Warrior and The National’s about today, it doesn’t need lots of explanation as it’s quite self explanatory:

Today you were far away
and I didn’t ask you why
What could I say
I was far away
You just walked away
and I just watched you
What could I say
How close am I to losing you
Tonight you just close your eyes
and I just watch you
slip away
How close am I to losing you
Hey, are you awake
Yeah I’m right here
Well can I ask you about today
How close am I to losing you
How close am I to losing you

Your soul is in your keeping alone…

Your soul is in your keeping alone…

Come. Sit. Do you play? The whole world is in chess. Any move can be the death of you. Do anything except remain where you started and you can’t be sure of your end.

When I was sixteen I won a great victory. I felt in that moment that I should live to be one hundred, now I know I shall not see thirty.

None of us know our end really, or what hand will guide us there.

A King may move a man, a father may claim a son.

That man can also move himself. And only then does that man truly begin his own game.

Remember that howsoever you are played, or by whom, your soul is in your keeping alone.

Even though those who presume to play you be kings or men of power. When you stand before God, you cannot say “but I was told by others to do thus” or that “virtue was not convenient at the time.”

This will not suffice.

Remember that.

Searching for an old love

I received the following messages from a German lady via a German networking site. Messages say it all. Sorry for the poor English, she’s not a native speaker and I didn’t want to modify the messages and just post as is ..

M. S. wrote 29.12.2009:

greetings from munich and i have a very important question do you have aknow about md,magdi abbas? computerhardware ingeneer?age 60-65?he worked for siemens a.moved in germany 83-86 please tell me if you can thank you micaela.

i forget, he live in cairo a.i was search him direct there in 89 but no result.

and his wish when he was young, was to be a airfligth pilot sorry for disturb! have a nice 2010!micaela

I was quite inactive on the site for a long while, got back and checked my messages to find the above, it was astonishing to see someone still searching for another who lost contact with for 24 years, I got back with a reply that I don’t know him but I find that inspirational and asked for more details about it and she responded saying:

M. S. wrote 23.04.2010:

Hello Mr. A.Magdy, now I was complete schocked to read the name Mr.Md. Magdi Abbas ,because today i should be not here about my 50 birthday!. Suddely looked the Name! At first thank you for answer me! Too, too long time triedto find out this man! Went to Cairo, such him -surch the post office, where my letters gone before! Many things done, only about him.So i came here to yasni Person surching -machine And as i saw your name, so my first thought was:You are his son may? Weloosed each other, it was my foult -not his!

He stayed at 1987 in Washington DC.- Maryland to reach anew Diplom as A Computer -Ingeneer.I think -it was hardware -technics-.That i try to find out all the name about him in Cairo,and all streetnames via mapcard –than i got a warning from egyptian gouverment.what i want and try here to find out.

Becaus one of a minister with the same name have.Thats about no informations more Yes, so again start surch from here Thats all slii ican explain You at first ! Only, that this man worked and moved around the world for siemens -ccompany! If intern or extern this question is out of my knowing,sorry.

He have one son and one dougther -she may one year older than son. Wifes name Fatme /Fatima. Now is only my qestion-he is alive and stay healthy or he is gone with angels ?? Thats all for the moment. i wait now 23 years -so never mind for few days more .Thank You, have a nice free friday up to next time! Ma selam

That was touching!

– Abdo

Sharing Link: https://www.abdomagdy.com/bse5nx

Forgiveness in relationships

Hey All,

I had an interesting chat with an amazing service on Twitter called @WikiOsra An Arabic family and relationship portal, As the Twitter stream fade away with time I thought to keep it here unedited and get back to a post whenever I have more time.

@wikiosra Well, let’s say it’s about the actions after breaking-up. I’ll give you some real examples.

@wikiosra Let’s assume 2 break-ups and I’ll present the concept through ’em. a basic background would be necessary.

@wikiosra Assume that the girl started showing interest, while the guy isn’t considering it at all, and that goes on for months.

@wikiosra In which the girl will demonstrate readiness to do whatever to get into this relationship. Let’s say the guy falls for it

@wikiosra After which she changes completely to a bit deceptive mind-gamer, may be wounded for the time she considered herself ignored.

@wikiosra Let’s say during these mind-games she makes a Major mistake that’s not acceptable by the guy and he takes a sharp step backward

@wikiosra Assuming that a step had to be taken for her side to fix things up, which doesn’t come then. He announces no-interest anymore.

@wikiosra In a very nice and forgiving way as that shouldn’t be done like that, but there is no problem I forgive but can’t accept it.

@wikiosra Let’s assume that her social circle @ college for example were aware of what’s going on and accordingly after that kind break-up

@wikiosra And forgiveness she goes to deceptive talks and situations and intentionally prepared set-ups. Should we consider forgiveness?

@wikiosra What if we don’t actually feel like forgiving out of experiencing these set-ups. After forgiving and talking nicely!

@wikiosra that’s the first analogy to demonstrate when and with whom we shouldn’t announce forgiveness. May be one of the main reasons

@wikiosra That person went forward with deceptive games knowing that she’s forgiven & not feel the size of the mistakes.

@wikiosra The point here also has to do with the perception of the social circle to that break-up. Something girls care much about.

@wikiosra Let’s go with the 2nd analogy. Break-up time and as we know in a relationship, not everything is known to everyone outside.

@wikiosra The guys announces a complete verified story about the deceptiveness of the girl he broke-up with.

@wikiosra Everyone boldly knows what went wrong and the society conceives the issue as it is. The other partner find no way outta that.

@wikiosra everything is shown now in context. And as a someone Major wrong had been done to you, you feel much better now

@wikiosra Assume that you have a chance to talk with that ex, the conversation would be with her realizing the bold mistake she’s done.

@wikiosra Now, she can say sorry, I made wrong to you. And you as a forgiving person, now you’re perfectly entitled to forgive and let it go

@wikiosra This forgiveness didn’t happen till and shouldn’t until the partner sincerely apologize and acknowledge his/her mistakes.

@wikiosra If you make-up forgiveness as the society says that forgiveness is a good thing and you’ll feel better after it.

@wikiosra you’ll actually end-up with a deeper offense and don’t forgive this time, so you lost the feeling of forgiving and more.

@wikiosra But when you put people in the position to feel their need to apologize and they realize their major mistake.

@wikiosra Then I can judge you whether you’re forgiving or not. But before being in this situation, you’re just trying to make urself feel better

@wikiosra So, I’m trying to say that the concept of “Social Punishment” if most likely to protect the community than unbounded forgiveness

@wikiosra http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iv50xrsFNdU This is a good analogy to forgiveness, after stating mistakes first.

Sharing: https://www.abdomagdy.com/tbdy8p

Forgivness – Prophet Joseph!

Hey Everyone,

Keeping track of some Tweets on forgiveness for future posts 🙂

@Rana_Asaad It depends if the person made wrong to you sincerely apologized, you should. If not, I have a word there.

@Rana_Asaad Sometimes we deceive ourselves that we forgive while we really don’t and shouldn’t

@Rana_Asaad If the person made wrong to you still holding the same position, don’t lean till they apologize to your satisfaction

@Rana_Asaad As the person didn’t acknowledge the mistake and ask for forgiveness, then forgiveness is an act of weakness & idiocy!

Let’s look to the act of prophet Joseph and his forgiveness to his brothers who not only tried to kill him, but spoke bad about him too.

After they got to meet while he’s in a high position in Egypt and it had been decided for his bro to stay as of stealing something

The brothers who united in killing Joseph said what, they said he’s just a thief like his other brother!!

What did prophet Jospeh did? forgiveness, no he said بل أنتم شراً مكانا, والله أعلم بما تصفون

Forgiveness from a prophet didn’t come until they acknowledged their mistake and boldly stated their error, قال لا تثريب عليكم اليوم

@Rana_Asaad Oh, I was just having the same thoughts and get to that conclusion, that’s why have a lot to say 🙂

@Rana_Asaad I have no solution to that point, It seems easier not to hold -VE feelings, for anyone, but who said that if you forgive ..

@Rana_Asaad The person won’t take advantage of you and you’ll end up with more -VE feelings!

some people idealize forgiveness to the extend of making it the only solution when mistakes is done to you this is delusional forgiveness!!

It’ll make you a better person to let it go and move on. Are those individuals more righteous than prophet Joseph?

We’re programmed that the opposite of forgiveness is revenge which is a bad thing indeed.

The point is just you need to put ’em in the position where they say sorry, just to forgive ’em

This is called social punishment, in which you’re protecting your fellows from going through similar exp. by punishing the wrong-doers

Finally, you’ll clean the society from wrong behavior as that person will think 1000 times before making the same mistake again

You’ll clean your heart from any form of hatred, as egoistically there is no reason not to forgive someone saying “I’m sorry”

Amazing video on Real Forgiveness: http://youtu.be/iv50xrsFNdU?a Acknowledge your mistakes, you’re punished “in prison” then I forgive you!

Sharing: https://www.abdomagdy.com/9hz5kz

Leadership – Long Before We Know Ourselves!

I loved these words:

Long before we know ourselves,
Our paths are already set in stone.
Some may never figure out their purpose in life,
And some will.
There are a lot of us who are caught up in this hell we all live in,
Content with being blinded by rules and judgment.
We live in a world where it’s more okay to follow than to lead.
In this world being a leader is trouble for the system we are all accustomed to.
Being a leader in this day and age is being a threat.
Not many people stood up against the system we all call life,
But toward the end of our first ten years into the millennium we heard a voice.
A voice who was speaking to us from the underground for some time.
A voice who spoke of vulnerabilities and other human emotions and issues never before heard so vividly and honest.
This is the story of a young man who not only believed in himself,
But his dreams too.
This is the story of The Man On The Moon.

-KiD CuDi,

Family outing, enjoying your time?

Hi there,

I’m currently outing with part of my family in 6 October city club, while having loads of work back home, that got me thinking a bit of our concept and activities while having a family outing! I think a typical family outing since childhood haven’t change much, as you can imagine I do find time while outing for writing a blog post, would that be an indicator that it’s not so much fun for an old 22 years old guy like myself.

The most amazing trip and outings I had lately was to Alex, with only the guys around my age in the family, we all agreed that we had amazing time and we all enjoyed ourselves. So, why don’t we enjoy family outing with the family including older members of the family as much as with the peers. does it have to do with the activities we can involve in, freedom? or is it about selfishness of the young ages who want to just fly or blog?

Is it supposed to be like that all the time, or family outing is something we usually do wrong? We should enjoy our time with the older members of our family, right?

What do you guys think?

P.S. this is not to be understood that I’m not enjoying my time, I’m just having thoughts about how to make outing with the family a better experience for everyone. I’ll get back with my suggestions later on ..

– Abdo

Sharing: https://www.abdomagdy.com/c2vh8e

You’ll become the books you read and people you hang out with

Hello Everyone,

Yes, right, choosing which media we expose ourselves to and which friends we hang out with is very important as that will determine who we’re going to be! Guys, pick the right friends and expose yourself to the media that will make you a better person.

I can relate to that in multiple phases in my life and I think in your own life as well. I find some who I thought to be conservative and practicing when they get withing a community that approve a specific negative behavior like flirting for example, they do indulge in that and change themselves by being a part of that community.

Regardless of how hard and may be offensive it might be to trim yourself from a community, it might be the only choice to keep going towards the goals you set for yourself at first place.

Be yourself and don’t be so easy to influence, chose your friends and media, ideas you expose yourself to. You only have the choice to be what you want and you’re deciding that NOW!

Thanks

– Abdel

Choosing friends …

The prophet Mohamed PBUH said:

‘A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes or at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace.”

[sahih al-Bukhari, vol 3, #314 & Muslim]

In Egypt, are we hypocrites?

Well, here we go with another sensitive topic, but what #Getting_Real I promised myself to stick with in 2014 might be less than exploring what matters the most and rarely explored and trying to define the principles upon which we want to live and build our society, if you are in your 20s I think that should be one of the important questions to ask yourself.

A few times I was having some true talks and I mentioned something awkward like: “All acts of our society, are based upon hypocrisy”, oh yah, of course you get some equally awkward reaction when you say that among people, who are basically are the society, you’re talking about.

But, C’mon, ain’t that true already?

Ain’t our family meetings and chit-chats are about showcasing how great everyone is? Ever talked about concerns, challenges or dreams? How can we help?

Ain’t most of those experience the pressure of finishing school do that because of “societal pressure” not out of passion or even benefit?

Ain’t marriage in our society is more about social status and financial security more than actual love or human connection? What do parents check and hunt for?

Ain’t all relationships within your limited social circles look publicly perfect, people shake hands and kiss cheeks, but what’s inside is inside?

Ain’t most of us are lying about being in “competition” and twisting the qualities of “collaboration” and “co-creation” to avoid direct confrontation? Pussies much?

Ain’t we shy away from having real strategic partnerships in business and within “ecosystems” because we pretend to be partners already and strike from behind or below the belt?

Ain’t most of the behavior you observe from those “partners” and “friends” can be considered “passive aggressive”?

Ain’t we hide ourselves most of the time behind shiny Facebook statuses, tweets and blog posts?

Doesn’t that just make us hypocrites?

Let’s say that in the last 10 year when I could understand being a part of a society, above 16 years old, I felt it’s not true, really? You like me because I’m top of my class? Do you really dare to break through all the superficial defense mechanisms and sneak into everyone’s true self, touch their pains and really “connect” with them?

When you go in disagreement or competition, why don’t you just state that if you do this we are in goddamn competition that will cost us both, let’s partner better? But people do everything they can to avoid that, they end up with passive aggressive behavior, I will hit you from behind, but nicely, because we are friends. If you say something about competition you are the bad guy, really?

If you step on my toes, I will cut your balls off, if you have any!

Does the above statement scare you, yes, I wrote that on my Facebook status, I really like it, not necessarily like I will do it, but I think it makes sense as a warning.

So, why don’t we talk about what matters? Why it’s socially unacceptable to state things as it is? It would be even more acceptable to lie than to state something that would sound perfectly fine to me.

Personally, I’m not good at hiding stuff you know and I plan to stick with the truth, if I don’t like it I will say it out loud and If I don’t like you, I will let you know and equally if I like you, I will let you know. I feel quite free and don’t need to hide myself like most people do.

That probably scares some people away and I don’t mind, be my guest.

With all our imperfections, with all our fears and failures we are beautiful creatures already. So, don’t hide yourself, your feelings or your situations for any reason.

I love this scene from The Phone Booth, the guy is messed up inside, like most of us, but at least he can afford the truth and he would be loved even more after it.

I dream of living in a truthful society…

If you share with people who you really are and they reject you, screw them and come join me…

Let’s build a better society 🙂

Professionalism, losing the essence for a high conviction rate?

Law-Abiding-Citizen-Poster

Law Abiding Citizen is becoming one of my favorite movies, as someone with interest in sociology, I try to comprehend how communities form and societies function.

One of the deepest conversations in the movie is when Sarah discusses with her boss how she sees her career path at the age of 35, sharing that she wishes she hasn’t sacrificed all the things that she could be and do as a result of her commitment to the profession, just to get high convection rate on a performance report while climbing the career ladder!

Conversation starting Minute 7:10 in this video.

- Hey, Nick, can I ask you something?
- Hmm?

Would you do it
the same way now?

Would you still cut
a deal for Darby?

This is the job, Sarah.
We have to make choices.

- But did you make the right choice?
- We made the right choice, right?

I don't know.

I'm 35, Nick.

And there are things-
there are possibilities

that I'm not gonna have now.

And it's okay.
I know it's part of the deal.

And don't get me wrong.
I love working for you.

But I just want to make sure
I gave up those things

for more than just
a high conviction rate.

The experience of my father winning a 10 years long legal battle had been heart-wrenching, that put me in the mood for much exploration, lots of people hide under the mantra of professionalism and performance to do things against the essence of what they are meant to do.

Before careers and professionalism, there are humans, values and principles. Unfortunately, the human society has for the most part failed to celebrate the few good men and women who stick with the essence and build and sustain beauty other than celebrate a plastic sense of professionalism!

To hell with what you’d consider “professionalism” if it makes me lose my essence.

If this is professionalism, then I prefer to be labelled an amateur who cares about the essence of what he do!

TweetHope – Help the depressed on Twitter by @EleniHope

Hello Everyone,


Last night, I was getting a bit depressed out of what’s going in the world, my country and my life. So, I posted on Twitter “I’m depressed .. say something uplifting” I have got various responses from people I know on Twitter but got one from someone I don’t know and it wasn’t a POT.

She was EleniHope who after reading her Twitter stream and FormSpring link there, I knew she is a 15 YO girl from Ohio who dedicated her time to searching Twitter for keyword “Depressed” and “I hate my life” and she goes into conversations with people to uplift their spirit and make them feel good again.

Example of such a conversation is here:
http://twitter.com/EleniHope/status/16179162982

Then we got into a conversation:

@EleniHope It’s okay, I’ll join you for an hour or something in picking up on the depressed people, we can start a movement too
http://twitter.com/abdome/statuses/16179483090

@EleniHope Are you on Facebook? we can make a page and a HashTag and group people to uplift the depressed when they have time.
http://twitter.com/abdome/statuses/16179531042

@EleniHope So we can utilize your idea on a larger scale, what do you think?
http://twitter.com/abdome/statuses/16179557509

So, out of that simple gesture Eleni do on Twitter, late last night I started a site to get Tweets with words “Depressed” and “I hate my life” and will get similar words and combine them in a page, for people to get there and pick up a genuine conversation with these individuals and uplift there spirit.

The website is http://TweetHope.us and HashTag #TweetHope should be used to group people around the idea. I started a Facebook page and Twitter page for it, what do you guys think about the ideas and feasibility or expanding its use?

http://TweetHope.us

Thanks

– Abdo